Emotional Liberation Sundays | No More Family Gag Orders: We’re Naming It and Healing Out Loud
- Bishop Butterscotch
- Aug 20
- 4 min read
Updated: Aug 20
Beloveds, let’s set the record straight. Silence didn’t just pop up in our families out of nowhere. It was survival training.
Back in the days of Jim Crow and racial terror, silence kept our people safe and alive! Speaking up could cost you your life, your land, or your livelihood. So silence became a shield. But here’s the thing, what shielded us "out there" got twisted into a gag order "in here" (home).
Inside our homes, parents, who were carrying their own unhealed wounds, passed it down: “Hush. Don’t tell nobody. Don’t make a scene.” Sometimes it was meant to toughen us up for a cruel world. But what it really did was teach us to swallow our pain, keep secrets, and carry shame that was never ours to hold.
Over time, the silence became a cultural blueprint, thus the belief: "what goes on in this house, stays in this house." We learned that image mattered more than truth: image leaned towards pristine public perceptions, while private harm stayed swept under the rug. And that psychological and emotional blueprint is why so many of us still find ourselves stuck in familial patterns even when they’re toxic AF.
So let’s call it what it was: Silence was both a shield and a shackle. It protected us in hostile systems, but it chained us inside our own homes to cover up dysfunction, addiction, abuse, and neglect.
💜 Y’all remember Celie’s daddy in The Color Purple? That chilling line he gave her? ‘You bet' not ever tell nobody but God.’ That wasn’t just a movie moment; that was a mirror. That’s how many of us were trained: hush your pain, hide your truth, and keep family secrets sealed up like coffins. But here’s the thing, silence doesn’t protect, it poisons. And we’re not swallowing that poison anymore. Even as I say this out loud, I feel the ghost of my mother's voice, “Hush your damn mouth! You’re being too sensitive. You're starting trouble.” That’s the ache of internalizing a negative voice...it convinces you your pain doesn’t count and it's not to be shared because "don't nobody wanna' hear that sh*t!" Issa' LIE. That training is FALSE, and it's a questionable belief system.
The irony is that the moment you name your pain, you start to break free from it. So today’s service is about just that — lifting the gag order, laying down the shame, and reclaiming the crown that silence tried to snatch. I hope your voice feels activated by the following Emotional Liberation Sunday's Service, family.
*Note: Click any photo to zoom in, if necessary. Let's go!
Declaration
Family told us, "What goes on in this house stays in this house," was a form of protection. Truth is, it was often a gag order. A way to hide dysfunction, addiction, abuse, and sweep any other pain under the rug.
Devotion of Dignified Defiance
Naming the silences is our devotion. This is where we take our power back.
Praise & Worship
Silence isn’t salvation. If it could heal, we’d be whole already!
*Click any photo to zoom in, if necessary.
Sermonette
Silence trains you to shrink. It breeds shame, diminishes your confidence, and convinces you you’re the problem, but liberation looks like refusing to choke on shame that was never yours to swallow in the first place.
*Click any photo to zoom in, if necessary.
Collection Plate of Peace
This week, we drop silence in the collection plate. Every secret they told us to carry, every bruise we were told to hide, every word we were told not to speak? Lay it down!
Cultural Testimony
This week’s testimony comes from our brother, Mr. Antwone Fisher. He steps to the door of his past, looks silence in the face, and says: “No more.” His voice is proof that survival turns to sovereignty when you dare to speak. In this powerful scene, he confronts the foster family who abused him. He names the harm. He refuses false hugs and fake smiles. He declares, “I remember everything, but I’m still standing. I’m still strong!”
🎥 Watch the clip here: Antwone Fisher Testimony Scene (2:12)
Antwone’s voice became his liberation. Ours can, too!
Therapy Call
Silence kept you surviving. Speaking helps you heal. Book the session. Reclaim your voice.
When the weight feels too heavy to carry alone, therapy can be the safe space where your truth finally breathes.
Benediction
Fellowship
It was a set up!
We know Sister Sophie is gon' tell it! 😝😝😝😝😝😝
Book Recommendations of the Week
Family silence doesn’t erase the wound—it passes it down. The Burden of Heritage shines a light on how generational trauma in Black families lingers as shame, silence, and self-doubt. Aileen Alleyne unpacks how the “internal oppressor” shows up in our lives and relationships, and more importantly, how we can disrupt the cycle.
It Didn’t Start With You (see below) gives you language for inherited pain, The Burden of Heritage grounds it in the Black experience—making it a must-read for anyone ready to heal, reclaim, and rise.
It Didn’t Start With You by Mark Wolynn helps you trace the patterns of unspoken pain and hidden trauma that silence tried to bury. If you’re ready to break the gag order and reclaim your birthright of healing, this is a powerful guide.
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