How Modern Mental Healthcare Could Have Empowered Sarah Vaughan

Image created by Mental Health Monarchs

Let’s get real for a moment. Sarah Vaughan, often referred to as "The Divine One," was more than just a jazz icon—she was a Black woman navigating a world that was often unkind, demanding, and downright brutal. Her voice was powerful, her presence magnetic, BUT Sarah was dealing with some deep, emotional scars (as most of us are) behind the scenes. As a Black psychotherapist, I often think about how different our beloved artists lives might be if they had access to the tools and support systems available today.

No one can truly know how Sarah Vaughan felt, even in documentaries, because only she could express her own emotions; all other accounts are filtered through the perspectives and interpretations of others. So, please note that my intent in this discussion is to educate, raise awareness, and encourage thoughtful reflection on the importance of mental health. This analysis is not meant to insult or diminish the legacy of the incredible Sarah Vaughan. Instead, it’s about honoring her life by exploring how modern mental health practices could have supported her, just as they can support us today. I aim to provide insights that empower and uplift, with the utmost respect for her contributions to music and culture. So, let’s explore how modern-day psychotherapy and mental health practices could have changed Sarah Vaughan’s life for the better.

For context, please view the following video and documentary:

The Burden of Greatness in Relationships

The intersection of greatness and relationships is laden with tension, especially for those who have achieved significant success. For Sarah Vaughn, I imagine her greatness is both a gift and a curse. On one hand, it brings her fame, admiration, and the satisfaction of knowing she has made a significant impact (something she may have wanted). On the other hand, it isolates her, creating a chasm between her and those closest to her. The point here is that when you start elevating, it can be difficult for those around you.

As such, relationships for highly successful individuals are often complex. The expectations placed upon them—both by themselves and others—can create pressure and discord. Partners, friends, and even family members may have found it difficult to relate to her personally, leading them to feel jealousy, resentment, and/or inadequacy (potentially). This could have prevented her from forming genuine, supportive relationships because, let's face it, even those closest to you can be "haters" who judge, ostracize, or purposely try to "take you down a few notches." This is the plight of many--even if you're not a celebrity. Amen?

More importantly, the relentless pursuit of greatness can strain relationships to the breaking point. The time and energy required to maintain a high level of achievement can lead to neglect of personal connections. For someone already prone to codependency, this can be particularly destructive, as it reinforces the cycle of needing to prove one's worth through external accomplishments rather than through mutual, nurturing relationships. Oof! This can be very true for many of us in some ways, yes? Let me be the first to raise my hand.🙋🏾‍♀️

The Silent Saboteur: Codependency

Let’s talk about codependency, that sneaky little devil that convinces us our worth is tied to how much we can do for others or how much we need to depend on others for our sense of self-worth and personal value. For Sarah Vaughan, this manifested in various ways—within her family (maybe), her band, and especially in her romantic relationships.

I assume that Sarah often took on the role of provider, the one everyone could rely on. This role fed into her sense of worth but also left her emotionally drained and, at times, resentful (potentially). She was expected to be strong, to hold it all together, and that pressure can wear down even the most resilient among us.

When it came to her band, Sarah’s codependency showed up in how she navigated her professional relationships. She was the star but may have also felt a deep need to ensure everyone around her was cared for. She may have blurred the lines between being a boss and a caretaker, which sometimes led to her overextending herself and compromising her needs to keep the peace and maintain harmony within the group (potentially).

The most significant display of Sarah’s codependency was in her romantic relationships, particularly with the men she chose as her managers. By delegating such a critical aspect of her career to her romantic partners, Sarah tied her personal value to their approval and guidance. She relied heavily on them to steer her career, which gave them an outsized influence over her life (and money). This dynamic often led to an unhealthy dependence on these men, where her sense of self-worth may have become entangled with their opinions and decisions. When these relationships soured, it wasn’t just a romantic disappointment but may have been a hit to her identity and self-esteem. Only one partner/manager appeared to have her best interest at heart.

This is where therapy could have been a game-changer for Sarah. A skilled therapist could have helped her recognize these unhealthy patterns, teaching her how to differentiate between genuine support and someone who was using her for their own gain. Therapy would have provided her with the tools to identify red flags—those subtle signs that a person might not have her best interests at heart.

Through therapy, Sarah could have explored the dynamics of her relationships more critically, understanding why she gravitated towards men who were perhaps more interested in what they could get from her than in supporting her. She could have learned to set firm boundaries, ensuring that her managers were there to guide her career professionally without crossing into manipulative territory. Most importantly, therapy could have empowered Sarah to trust her instincts and make decisions prioritizing her well-being over someone else’s agenda.

For modern Black women, these are crucial lessons. We all have the right to be in romantic, professional, or familial relationships where we are valued for who we are, not just for what we can do for others. Therapy can help us develop the discernment we need to protect ourselves from those who might try to use us, ensuring that our lives are filled with relationships built on mutual respect, trust, and care.

Greatness and Relationships: The High Cost of Success

Sarah Vaughan’s greatness was undeniable, but let’s be real—greatness often comes with a price. For Sarah, that price included strained relationships and a sense of isolation. As Black women, we are often told that we have to be twice as good to get half as much. This pressure can be overwhelming, leading us to neglect our personal lives to achieve success.

What if Sarah had access to a mental health professional who could help her balance her greatness with her need for healthy, fulfilling relationships? Therapy could have provided her with the tools to manage the pressures of her career while also nurturing her personal connections. She could have learned that she didn’t have to choose between being great and being loved—she deserved BOTH.

Today, many of us still struggle with this balancing act. We push ourselves to excel, but at what cost? Therapy can help us find that balance, reminding us that our relationships are as important as our accomplishments. We don’t have to sacrifice one for the other.

Was there a Father-Sized Hole in Sarah Vaughn's Heart?

Let’s examine Sarah Vaughan’s relationship with her father, Asbury "Jake" Vaughan. Asbury was a devout member of the Mount Zion Baptist Church in Newark, New Jersey. Although he wasn’t a full-time minister, his life was deeply rooted in the church, and like many religious parents of that era, he had strong reservations about his daughter pursuing a career in jazz music.

Minister Father Scene from The Color Purple

For Sarah, her father’s disapproval of her passion must have been challenging. Jazz was more than just music to her—it was an expression of her soul, a path to her true self. But to her father, jazz represented a world far removed from the values he held dear, one that he feared would lead Sarah away from the safety and sanctity of the "chuych."

This tension likely created a complex dynamic between Sarah and her father. On one hand, she wanted to honor her father’s wishes and the religious upbringing that shaped her early life. On the other, she was driven by an undeniable passion for jazz—a passion that would ultimately make her a legend. This push-and-pull between fulfilling her father’s expectations and pursuing her dreams might have left Sarah with unresolved feelings of guilt, conflict, and a yearning for her father’s approval.

Many of us carry “daddy wounds”—deep-seated conflicts in which we struggle to reconcile our own desires with the expectations placed upon us by our parents. For Sarah, therapy could have been a powerful tool to explore and heal these wounds. A therapist could have helped her navigate the emotional complexities of wanting to be a dutiful daughter while also following her own path.

Through therapy, Sarah could have processed the impact of her father’s disapproval on her self-esteem and her career choices. She could have learned to validate her own decisions, understanding that her worth was not tied to meeting someone else’s expectations, even those of her father. This healing could have empowered her to pursue her career with even greater confidence, unburdened by the need to prove herself or win approval.

For modern Black women/people, this is a familiar story. We often find ourselves caught between the values we were raised with and the paths we want to carve out for ourselves. Therapy offers a way to reconcile these conflicts and honor our roots while also embracing our true selves. We can confidently step into our power by healing our daddy wounds, knowing that we are enough, just as we are.

The Need for Trust: Finding a Safe Space

Sarah Vaughan’s life was filled with incredible highs but also deep lows. Trust was something she desperately needed but struggled to find. In a world that constantly demanded more from her, she needed someone she could rely on, someone who would take care of her for a change.

Therapy could have provided Sarah with a safe space, a place where she could be vulnerable without fear of judgment. She could have learned to trust herself and choose supportive relationships through therapy. She could have discovered that it’s okay to need help and that vulnerability is not a weakness but a strength.

Trust is often hard to come by for us. We’ve been let down, betrayed, and left to fend for ourselves more times than we can count. But therapy can help us rebuild that trust—first in ourselves and then in others. We deserve relationships based on mutual care and respect, not fear or obligation.

Functional Drug Use: The Thin Line Between Coping and Crumbling

Sarah Vaughan, like many high-achieving Black women and famous artists, likely turned to substances as a way to cope with the immense pressure she was under. When the world constantly demands that you be "perfect" or "produce hits," it’s easy to seek out an escape, something to numb the pain, even if just for a little while.

In today’s world, Sarah might have had access to a therapist who could help her find healthier ways to cope with that pressure. She could have learned mindfulness techniques, stress management strategies, and healthier emotional outlets. Instead of turning to substances, she could have turned to self-care and self-compassion.

The pressure to be “strong” can be overwhelming for Black women and people today. But strength doesn’t have to mean suffering in silence. Therapy can help us develop healthier coping mechanisms so we don’t have to rely on harmful substances to get through the day. We can learn to face our challenges head-on with grace, available support (even if it's not the one closest to us that we expect it from), and resilience.

Functional drug use is something that’s often swept under the rug, especially in high-functioning individuals like Sarah Vaughan. It’s easy to convince yourself that you have it under control and are managing just fine. But the reality is that this kind of drug use is a ticking time bomb, one that can have devastating consequences if left unchecked.

Therapy could have helped Sarah recognize the dangers of functional drug use and provided her with the tools to address the root causes of her substance dependence. Instead of masking her pain, she could have worked through it, finding healthier ways to cope.

As Black women/people, we often feel like we have to keep it all together, even when we’re struggling. But we don’t have to do it alone. Therapy can help us break the cycle of functional drug use, giving us the support we need to heal and thrive.

Image created by Mental Health Monarchs

Legacy: Redefining Success

Sarah Vaughan was concerned about her legacy, as many of us are. We want to be remembered for our greatness and for the impact we’ve made on the world. But what if we started to redefine what success looks like? What if we decided that our legacy would be one of healthy resilience, healing, and living authentically?

Through therapy, Sarah could have learned that her worth was not tied to her public persona. She could have discovered that her legacy was not just about what she accomplished but about how she lived her life, contributed to the history of music, treated herself and others, and overcame her struggles.

For Black women and people today, it’s time to think about our legacies differently. It’s not just about what we achieve but about how we care for ourselves, nurture our mental and emotional health, and support each other in our healing journeys. That’s a legacy worth leaving behind.

Discernment: Making Wise Choices

Finally, let’s talk about discernment. Sarah Vaughan’s life was filled with good and not-so-good choices; I'm sure we all can relate. But what if she had access to tools to help her make more informed, empowered decisions?

In therapy, Sarah could have developed the discernment to navigate her life more clearly and confidently. She could have learned to trust her intuition, to recognize when something wasn’t serving her, and to make choices that aligned with her true self.

For us, discernment is the key to living a fulfilling life. It’s about knowing what’s right for us and having the courage to pursue it, even when it’s difficult (AND when motherf*ckers--family or otherwise--hate on us for it). Therapy can help us develop this skill, giving us the tools to create the life we want.

Instructions for Mental Health Reflection and Action:

1. Watch the Video:

   • Start by watching the video in its entirety. Note the key themes discussed, particularly those related to codependency, relationships, and Sarah Vaughan's pressures.

2. Reflect on Personal Experiences:

   • After watching the video, take some time to reflect on your own experiences. Consider how themes like codependency, the need for trust, or the pressure to succeed might resonate in your own life.

3. Identify Areas for Growth:

   • Identify any areas in your life where you might be facing similar challenges. This could include struggles with setting boundaries, balancing relationships with personal goals, or coping with stress in unhealthy ways.

4. Journal Your Thoughts:

   • Write down your reflections in a journal. Consider questions like:

     • How do I manage the pressures in my life?

     • Am I seeking validation in ways that might not be healthy?

     • How do I navigate trust and relationships?

5. Explore Mental Health Resources:

   • If any themes from the video resonate deeply, consider seeking support. This could involve talking to a therapist, joining a support group, or accessing resources focusing on mental health and well-being.

6. Set Actionable Goals:

   • Set a few actionable goals for improving your mental health based on your reflections. This could be as simple as setting boundaries, practicing self-care, or exploring therapy options.

7. Share and Discuss:

   • If comfortable, share your reflections with a trusted friend or support group. Discussing these topics can provide additional insights and support.

8. Revisit the Video:

   • Consider revisiting the video afterward to see how your perspectives might have shifted or deepened.

The Power of Mental Healthcare

In closing, Sarah Vaughan was a legend, a powerhouse, and a force to be reckoned with! However, she was also a woman who struggled, hurt, and sometimes felt lost. Even so, recognizing her struggles has not diminished my admiration or respect for her! Mental healthcare could have made a world of difference for her, just as it can for us today.

While we all face unique challenges, we also have access to resources that our foremothers (and fathers) did not. Therapy is one of those resources, a tool that can help us heal, grow, and thrive. It’s time to break the stigma, to prioritize our mental health, and to create a legacy of wellness and resilience.

So, let’s honor Sarah Vaughan’s legacy by caring for ourselves, seeking the help we need, and living lives rooted in love, authenticity, and mental well-being. Because we deserve nothing less. #MentalHealthMatters #BlackMentalHealthMatters #LegacyOfWellness

I salute you, Sarah! You continue to inspire me. 🧡