Peace Meets Power, Part 3: The Art of Cultivating Mutually Beneficial Relationships with Friends and Foes

Jerusalem Brown, LPC, NCC
Jan 16
6 min read

Updated: Jan 28

A regal Black woman standing confidently on a chessboard surrounded by chess pieces representing friends and foes, symbolizing strategic relationship management. — Trust is the foundation of any relationship—but discernment is the glue that holds it together.

Ever noticed how some people uplift and empower you while others leave you feeling drained and doubting yourself? The difference isn’t luck—it’s strategy. Learning to cultivate mutually beneficial relationships isn’t about manipulation; it’s about discernment. Let’s talk about how balancing peace and power can help you build connections that nourish, not deplete you.

Relationships shape the quality of our lives. Whether it’s friendships, work connections, or unexpected alliances, how we navigate trust and power determines our emotional well-being. The 48 Laws of Power (48-LOPwr) warn us, “Never put too much trust in friends; learn how to use enemies.” While that may sound like a lesson in ruthless self-interest, there’s wisdom in recognizing that trust, when misplaced, can cost you. But let’s flip the script. The 44 Laws of Peace (44-LOPc) remind us that relationships thrive when built on self-awareness, healthy boundaries, and emotional intelligence. When peace meets power, you don’t merely survive relationships—you master them.

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Part I: Why Blind Trust is a Setup

Friendships should feel safe, but when trust is given freely without discernment, it often leads to disappointment. Here’s how misplaced trust can set you up for failure:

When comfort turns into complacency: Some people mistake your kindness for unlimited access. Example: The friend who "forgets" their wallet at brunch but always recalls when it's their turn to have their meal paid for.
Envy disguised as loyalty: Just because someone claps for you doesn’t mean they’re cheering. Example: You land a new opportunity, and instead of celebrating, your “friend” side-eyes you with a lukewarm, “Must be nice.”
The blurred boundary trap: Over-trusting people with your time and energy without reciprocation leads to exhaustion. Example: You’re always the go-to person for emotional support, but when you need to vent? Crickets.

Reflection Prompt: Who in your circle respects your boundaries, and who subtly steps over them? What shifts can you make to restore balance?

Part II: How Your “Enemies” Might Be Your Biggest Asset

It’s easy to dismiss people who challenge you, but not all friction is bad. In fact, your so-called enemies can be your greatest teachers if you know how to shift your perspective.

Enemies tell you the truth your friends won’t: Unlike close friends who might sugarcoat things, adversaries don’t have an incentive to spare your feelings. Example: That coworker who called you out for missing deadlines? Annoying, but also the reason you leveled up your time management.
Pressure sharpens your skill set: Rivalries push you beyond complacency, forcing you to refine your talents and strategies. Example: A competing entrepreneur starts innovating in your field, pushing you to enhance your brand and claim your space.
Conflict can evolve into collaboration: Sometimes, the strongest partnerships are born from initial tension. Example: A person you once butted heads with turns into a business partner because you both realize your strengths complement each other.

Reflection Prompt: Think back to a time when someone’s opposition made you step up. How can you use past conflicts as growth opportunities?

Two colleagues shaking hands after a debate, symbolizing how conflicts can lead to growth and mutual understanding when approached with peace and power. — Sometimes, the best lessons come from unexpected sources—even those we consider enemies. Relationships flourish when built on clarity, boundaries, and mutual benefit.

Part III: How to Cultivate Relationships That Elevate You

To truly master the art of relationships, you need more than just strategy, as the law of power suggests—you need emotional intelligence.

The 44 Laws of Peace lay the blueprint for nourishing connections rather than draining ones as it relates to "never putting too much trust in friends, and learning how to use enemies." To balance peace with power (whether you're using this strategy on others or vice versa), check out the following approach:

1. Trust actions, not words (Law of Discernment):

Example: Someone claims they have your back, but you wait to see consistency before investing too murch.

2. Feel, but don’t let emotions control your decisions (Law of Emotional Intelligence):

Example: A friend disappoints you. Instead of reacting impulsively, you assess the bigger picture before addressing the situation.

3. Seek relationships that uplift both parties (Law of Mutual Benefit):

Example: A former competitor wants to collaborate. You set boundaries and ensure it’s a win-win before moving forward.

4. Protect your time and energy fiercely (Law of Boundaries):

Example: That friend who keeps borrowing money with no repayment plan? You set financial boundaries and stop the cycle. In the mighty words of Sofia...
Say it with me!

5. View conflict as a lesson, NOT a threat (Law of Perspective):

Example: A disagreement with a loved one sparks an uncomfortable but necessary conversation that strengthens the relationship.

Reflection Prompt: Where do you need to reinforce boundaries or cultivate healthier dynamics in your life?

A dapper-looking African American woman standing on a chess board in a palace parlor signifies the benefits of balancing peace and power. — Master the balance between power moves and peaceful mastery to create relationships that empower and uplift.

Part IV: Power Moves vs. Peaceful Mastery

Navigating relationships requires a balance between strategy and emotional intelligence. Some situations call for calculated power moves, while others demand a more peaceful, reflective approach. The key is knowing when to assert yourself and when to foster understanding. In this section, we break down real-life scenarios, comparing power-driven tactics with peace-centered mastery so you can decide which approach serves you best.

Scenario	Power-Oriented Move	Peaceful Mastery
Sharing secrets too soon	Use vulnerability strategically to gain favor.	Only share deeply with those who’ve earned your trust.
	*Example:* Oversharing with a new coworker, then regretting it.	*Example:* Testing the waters with small disclosures first.
Dealing with jealous friends	Distance yourself to avoid negativity.	Have a direct conversation and set clear boundaries.
	*Example:* Cutting off a friend who’s jealous of your new car.	*Example:* Asking how they’re really feeling about your success.
Handling criticism	Discredit the critic and protect your image.	Assess the feedback objectively and apply what helps.
	*Example:* Roasting someone who critiques your work.	*Example:* Applying their feedback to improve.
Handling conflict	Exert dominance to maintain control.	Use disagreements to foster growth and understanding.
	*Example:* Shutting down a sibling during an argument.	*Example:* Pause, reflect, and return with a balanced response.

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Crowning Thoughts:

Every relationship in your life either fuels your growth or drains your energy. The truth is, trust isn’t about being naive or paranoid—it’s about being intentional. The 48 Laws of Power teach us strategy, while the 44 Laws of Peace remind us to lead with discernment. The key is to navigate friends and enemies with a mix of strategy, self-awareness, discernment, and boundaries. When peace meets power, you can coexist and thrive in mutually beneficial relationships.

Reflection Prompt: Which relationships in your life need more intention? How can you shift your approach to cultivate more beneficial connections?

Ready to turn your relationships into royal alliances? Join The Inner Court Membership at Mental Health Monarchs for exclusive insights, tools, and a supportive community to keep your crown steady.

I can’t wrap this up without dropping some music on you! The following two artists were tight once upon a time, but now? Whew—there’s BEEF. At first, I thought it was just a genius PR stunt to stir up buzz, but nah, this rift is real. My take? They’re both talented. And you know what they say—iron sharpens iron, right?

Give these tracks a listen, and let’s talk about it. What do you make of their fallout based on what we’ve explored in the blog? What lessons from The 48 Laws of Power (Never put too much trust in friends; learn how to use enemies) and The 44 Laws of Peace could they have applied before things went LEFT?

Could discernment, boundaries, or emotional intelligence have changed the outcome? Maybe a little strategy mixed with self-awareness could have saved the friendship—or at least kept things from turning messy.

Drop your thoughts in the comments—I want to hear your take! What could they have done differently? What principles stand out to you the most? Let’s discuss!

First "diss" by OZU RASHAAD - 1/11/2025