Phyllis Hyman: The Powerhouse Voice Silenced by Pain—How Modern Mental Healthcare and Suicide Prevention Could Have Helped
- Jerusalem Brown, LPC, NCC
- Aug 27, 2024
- 9 min read
Updated: Aug 28, 2024
Hey, heyyyy beautiful souls! Today, we’re exploring the life of another iconic voice—Phyllis Hyman. Now, if you don’t know who Phyllis is, let me educate you real quick. Phyllis Hyman was a vocal powerhouse, a GORGEOUS queen of R&B and jazz with a voice that could take you from the highest highs to the deepest lows (in just one note). She had one of those rare gifts of making you feel every ounce of emotion in her music. But as much as her voice resonated with love, heartbreak, and longing, Phyllis herself was carrying a heavy burden—a burden that eventually led to her tragic suicide/death.
Phyllis’ story is one of immense talent, which is overshadowed by deep pain, depression, and a sense of never truly being seen or understood. So, let’s get real and talk about how modern mental health care and suicide prevention could have helped Phyllis Hyman find the balance and peace she so desperately needed.
Disclaimer: I want to make it clear that I am not attempting to discount any mental healthcare that Phyllis Hyman may have engaged in during her lifetime. My intent is to explore how the advances in mental health care and suicide prevention we have today could have potentially offered additional support. In no way am I diminishing her legacy or the assistance she may have received at that time. This discussion is meant to honor her life and raise awareness about the importance of mental health care and the resources available to us now. - Jerusalem Brown, LPC, NCC
The Emotional Weight of Being a Star
Phyllis Hyman wasn’t just a singer—she was an experience. Her presence on stage was magnetic, her voice unmatched. But behind the scenes, Phyllis was battling some serious personal issues. Depression was her constant companion, and the pressures of the music industry only made things worse. Like so many Black women (and men), Phyllis was expected to be strong, to hold it all together, even when everything inside her was falling apart.
Now, imagine if Phyllis had access to the kind of mental health care we have today. Therapy could have offered her a space to unpack the immense pressure she was under—the expectations of perfection, the relentless demands of the industry, and the weight of being a Black woman in a world that often refuses to see our full humanity. Phyllis needed a place where she could be vulnerable, where she could take off the mask and just be herself without fear of judgment. Just like so many of us, she deserved a space to release the weight of the world and be seen for who she truly was, not just her profession or what she presented to the world.
When was the last time you allowed yourself to be genuinely vulnerable—without needing to wear a mask, meet anyone’s expectations, or play a role? Think about it: when was the last time you let yourself just be—not as a parent, a professional, a caregiver, or whatever title you carry, but simply as you? When was the last time you permitted yourself to let down your guard, feel your emotions, and embrace who you are at your core without the weight of the world pressing down on you?
Feeling Seen, Heard, and Understood: The Role of Therapy
One of the most heartbreaking aspects of Phyllis’s story is that, despite all her success, she often felt misunderstood. This is something so many of us can relate to, especially as Black women (and men). We’re out here giving our all, pouring our souls into our work, our families, our communities—and yet, we’re often met with silence, or worse, with judgment and dismissal. It's hurtful, and it's angering. Considering this, where did she go (and where do YOU go...) for feelings of safety? Who are your "safe people?"
I am unsure if Phyllis utilized psychotherapy, but therapy surely could have been a "safe space" where Phyllis could have felt truly seen and understood as an individual (versus only a "star"). A good therapist would have listened to her—not just to her words, but to the pain beneath them. They could have helped her unpack the layers of hurt and disappointment she carried, offering her validation and understanding. In therapy, Phyllis could have explored the roots of her depression, the sources of her self-doubt, and the impact of a lifetime of being told she wasn’t "enough." Let’s be clear: regardless of how much therapy they receive, some people have chemical imbalances in their brains that impact them deeply. However, when medication and psychotherapy work together, they can create a powerful combination that helps many truly thrive.
Emotional Balance: Finding Peace Amidst the Chaos
Phyllis Hyman was known for her struggles with emotional balance. Her mood swings were intense, and her depression was debilitating. This wasn’t just a case of the “blues”—Phyllis was fighting a battle against her own mind, which some of us are familiar with. When we talk about mood swings of this magnitude, it’s essential to consider the possibility of a bipolar disorder diagnosis, often referred to in the past as manic depression.
Bipolar disorder is characterized by extreme mood swings, ranging from the highs of mania—where a person might feel euphoric, overly energetic, or even invincible—to the lows of depression, where feelings of hopelessness, fatigue, and deep despair can take over. These shifts aren’t just challenging; they can be overwhelming, affecting every aspect of a person’s life, from relationships to work to self-care.
For someone like Phyllis, these intense mood swings could have made daily life a rollercoaster of emotions, with little relief in sight. The manic phases might have provided brief moments of feeling “up,” but they were likely followed by devastating crashes into deep depression. This kind of emotional turbulence requires more than just sheer willpower to manage—it calls for comprehensive mental health care, which might include both psychotherapy and medication.
Modern mental health practices recognize that managing bipolar disorder is about finding the right balance. Medication can help stabilize mood swings, while psychotherapy provides a space to understand and navigate the emotional challenges that come with the disorder. It’s about creating a foundation where someone like Phyllis could have found more stability and, perhaps, more peace amidst the chaos in her mind.
Understanding bipolar disorder is crucial because it reminds us that mental health issues are complex, often requiring a multi-faceted approach to treatment. And it’s a reminder that, like Phyllis, those who struggle with such profound emotional shifts need compassion, understanding, and, most importantly, support in their journey toward healing.
Modern mental health care could have provided Phyllis with the tools to manage her depression more effectively. Whether through therapy, medication, or a combination of both, Phyllis could have found strategies to help her maintain emotional balance, even in the face of life’s inevitable ups and downs. She could have learned coping mechanisms to deal with the pressures of her career, techniques to manage her mood swings, and ways to care for herself that went beyond the surface. - Jerusalem Brown, LPC, NCC
Feeling Understood: A Path to Healing
A deep sense of not being understood was at the heart of Phyllis’s struggle. This wound cuts deep, especially when you’re someone as sensitive and emotionally tuned in as Phyllis was. I share this sentiment. So, I know that when you feel like no one truly “gets” you, it’s easy to start believing that you’re alone in your pain, that no one cares, and that things will never get better.
However, therapy could have helped Phyllis see that she wasn’t alone. A compassionate therapist could have helped her understand that her feelings were valid, that her pain was real, and that there were ways to heal and move past the emotional pain. They could have guided her through a process of self-discovery, helping her reconnect with her strengths, her passions, and the parts of herself that had been buried under years of emotional pain, avoidance, and disappointment.
The Tragic End: What Could Have Been Different
Phyllis Hyman’s life ended in tragedy when she took her own life in 1995, just hours before a scheduled performance. Her suicide note read, “I’m tired. I’m tired. Those of you that I love know who you are. May God bless you.” It’s a heartbreaking reminder of how deep her emotional pain was and how desperately she needed support.
We can’t change the past, but we can learn from it. Phyllis’s story is a powerful reminder of the importance of mental health care and of the need to reach out for help before the darkness becomes overwhelming. If Phyllis had access to the kind of support available today, and if she had had someone to turn to who could help her navigate her pain, maybe—just maybe—her story would have had a different ending. Does this make you think of anyone you've known in your life?
The Importance of Suicide Awareness and Prevention
As we reflect on the life and struggles of Phyllis Hyman, it’s crucial to address the serious issue of suicide awareness and prevention. Phyllis’s tragic passing is a stark reminder of how overwhelming mental health challenges can be, especially when someone feels isolated and unseen. Suicide is often the result of a combination of factors, including depression, a sense of hopelessness, and an overwhelming feeling that things will never get better. However, with the proper support, understanding, and intervention, many suicides can be prevented.
Recognizing the Signs of Suicidal Thoughts
It’s essential to be aware of the signs that someone might be considering suicide. These signs can vary, but some common indicators include:
Talking about wanting to die or end their life.
Expressing feelings of hopelessness or having no reason to live.
Withdrawing from friends, family, and social activities.
Exhibiting extreme mood swings, from deep depression to sudden calmness or euphoria.
Engaging in reckless or self-destructive behaviors.
Giving away prized possessions or getting affairs in order.
Talking about being a burden to others.
Action Steps to Help Someone in Crisis
If you notice any of these signs in a loved one, taking immediate action is important. Here’s what you can do:
Start the Conversation:
Reach out to them with care and concern. You can say something like, "I've noticed you've been feeling down lately. Do you want to talk about what's going on?" It's crucial to listen without judgment and offer your support.
Ask About Thoughts of Self-Harm or Suicide Directly:
Don’t be afraid to ask directly if they are thinking about suicide. It might feel uncomfortable, but asking this question won’t plant the idea in their head—instead, it shows that you’re taking their feelings seriously.
Encourage Professional Help:
Please encourage them to seek professional help from a therapist, counselor, or doctor. Offer to help them find a mental health professional or attend their first appointment.
Stay Connected:
Check-in with them regularly. Sometimes, just knowing that someone cares can make a huge difference. Stay connected and offer your continued support.
Remove Access to Dangerous Items:
If possible, try to remove any items they could use to harm themselves, such as firearms, sharp objects, or medications.
Don’t Leave Them Alone:
If they are in immediate danger, don’t leave them alone. Stay with them and seek emergency help. Call 911 or your local emergency number if necessary.
Resources for Suicide Prevention
If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, it’s essential to reach out for help immediately. Here are some resources that can provide support:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (U.S.):
Call 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) for confidential support 24/7.
Website: suicidepreventionlifeline.org
Crisis Text Line:
Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a trained crisis counselor.
Website: crisistextline.org
The Trevor Project (LGBTQ+ Youth):
Call 1-866-488-7386 or text START to 678678 for crisis intervention and suicide prevention.
Website: thetrevorproject.org
Suicide Prevention Resource Center (SPRC):
Offers a variety of resources and information on suicide prevention.
Website: sprc.org
Mental Health America (MHA):
Provides resources and support for mental health issues.
Website: mhanational.org
NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness):
Offers resources and a helpline for individuals facing mental health challenges.
Helpline: 1-800-950-NAMI (1-800-950-6264)
Website: nami.org
We All Have a Role to Play
Suicide prevention is everyone’s responsibility. By being aware of the signs, taking action, and offering support, we can make a difference in the lives of those struggling. Remember, you don’t have to be a mental health professional to offer support—sometimes, just being there, listening, and showing you care can be a lifeline.
Let’s honor the memory of Phyllis Hyman and others who have lost their battle with mental health by advocating for suicide awareness and ensuring that no one has to face their struggles alone. 💛
Final Thoughts: Honoring Phyllis’ Legacy Through Healing
Phyllis Hyman was a gift to the world, and her legacy lives on through her music. But her story is also a cautionary tale about the dangers of neglecting our mental health, not feeling we have support, not taking advantage of the support we have, and, more importantly, trying to manage feelings of despair alone. We all deserve to be seen, heard, and understood. We all deserve to find balance and peace, no matter what the world throws our way.
So, let’s honor Phyllis’ legacy by taking care of ourselves, reaching out for support when we need it, and refusing to carry the world's weight on our shoulders alone. And to all my sisters (and brothers) out there—remember that you are enough, just as you are. Your voice matters, your pain matters, and your healing matters. 💛
Stay strong, stay true, and stay unapologetically YOU!
***Now, you know what time it is! I can't justifiably leave you without music. 😉
What artist would you like me to explore next???
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